I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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