you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
