weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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