i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
