you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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