If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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