NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
