I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your shirt... Was in my pants
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
