considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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