life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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