the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
