yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
