I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
