Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
