Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
time to smoke my breakfast
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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