I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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