I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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