oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
