I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
