There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
