She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
