I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
