I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
