im drinking this country out of the recession.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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