I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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