I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
