fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
