i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
