Jerry, you need to find god
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize