i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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