Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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