Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he thought i was a dude.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
