Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
