Your face is a jimmy john
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Pants are for mortals
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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