margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
