He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
