Your face is a jimmy john
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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