Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
