dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
