First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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