And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize