ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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