Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
