i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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