I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
