Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I puked a lego.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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