4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
