Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
