I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
