The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
