Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize