Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
