Me. At least after what I've been through.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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