She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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