How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
