i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize