Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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