I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Let's get the cat blown out
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
