I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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