If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
