Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
