Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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