writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize