if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
