i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
