Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize