Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
