Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
