and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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