I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
